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17th-Apr-2013 02:04 pm
It's been a long time since I last updated LJ... My bad.
Many things happened and I feel like I'm a loser now.

Going to university was my biggest failure I guess, no matter at first how happy I was.
I've been studying Japanese there for almost 3 years, and I also got my first biggest prize - N2.
However, keeping this N2 doesn't really mean anything when I still cannot fluently go on a conversation with a Japanese and my Japanese is not enough for even a casual letter. Yeah, what a sh*t.

I just can say I've never felt so disappointed with myself like I do now.
If only I could go to Japan once.

Actually, I have my chance now since I've just found out that my mother can manage the financial problems of which we've been afraid so far. But well, since I'm now in my 3rd-year in university, they gave me some f**king advice such as why not waiting until graduation, which means waiting for 2 more years...

My ass!!!
As if I really need any degree here!!!

What I really need here is my Japanese skills. Really, what so good about keeping a degree without prefessional competence? I just can't understand why people care so much about degree or qualifications. For me, the most important thing is that you know how to put all what you studied into practice, and survive your life. That's all.

Besides, it's totally not like I'm not aiming for an academic degree here.
I'm planning to attend a junior college in Japan, of course before that I'll try my best with the 1-year (or if possible, 6-month) Japanese course. I believe my Japanese will improve much more quickly this way.

Why do I have to wait for 2 more years to complete my study in Vietnam when I can see my goal so clearly like this?
In that 2 years, I definitely won't have much of improvement if I just keep staying still in Vietnam, gradually losing my pace and become more and more unconfident...

Anyway, I'm fighting for my chance now.
Even though they keep telling me to wait, I'll never going to nod my head and do as they please.

And if by any chance I win this time, I'll fly to Japan to attend 十文字学園女子大学 this September.
I talked to Yamaji Yuko-san and Satoshi Oishi-san once. They seem to be very nice and they said they would be waiting for me to attend Jumonji soon...
Yeah, I also want to meet them again soon, too.

I'll get to try my best!!!

17th-Apr-2013 08:07 am (UTC)
I got your feeling.

I feel exactly the same here. Actually, I'm attending Hanoi Uni for Japanese too and I'm really unhappy even though I'm only the first year.

Everything feel really pointless and I really want to drop out.

Wish you luck and realize your Japan dream ♥
17th-Apr-2013 11:31 am (UTC)
So why not going to Japan to study or attending a Japanese University? I think it's right time for you now. ;)

And thanks a lot for your kind wish ♥
17th-Apr-2013 02:56 pm (UTC)
My family can't afford it and the only way is getting a full scholarship :(

I could only stick with HANU and hopefully I can go someday.

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